The Zen of Adoption

I love tea. Whether dark black with milk and sugar, green tea with honey, spicy chai, or pale white tea, there is nothing like it to start or end the day well. China is the homeland of tea. Of the three major beverages of the world– tea, coffee and cocoa– tea is consumed by the largest number of people in the world. China has tea-shrubs as early as five to six thousand years ago, and human cultivation of tea plants dates back two thousand years. Tea from China, along with her silk and porcelain, began to be known the world over more than a thousand years ago and has since always been an important Chinese export. People throughout China drink tea daily. Because of the geographic location and climate, different places grow various kinds of tea. I hope I can visit some tea plantations when we visit China, I’d love to know where my favorite beverage really comes from.

One possibility:

The Legend of Tieguanyin
Centuries ago in Sand County, Fujian Province, China, lived a tea farmer named Mr. Wei. Each morning and evening he used to pass by a temple dedicated to the Goddess T’ieh-Kuan-Yin. He was a poor farmer, but was often moved by the poorer condition of the temple. So he would regularly burn incense inside the temple, sweep the floors and clean the statue of the Goddess. Understanding Mr. Wei’s deep devotion to her temple, T’ieh-Kuan-Yin appeared to him in a dream and said: “Behind the temple, deep in a cave is a treasure that will last you for generations, but for it to be valuable you must share it with all of your neighbors.” Waking up and rushing to the cave behind the temple, Mr. Wei searched and searched for the treasure. But the only thing he found was a small sprig of a tea bush. Unhappily he took this sprig and planted it in his tea garden. Over the next few years it grew into a bush. When he made tea from the leaves of this bush, he noticed a unique fragrance and amber infusion which last over many subsequent steeps of the same leaves. Mr. Wei propagated the bush further into hundreds of tea bushes and, remembering the instructions of the Goddess gave shoots and seeds to all of his neighbors. Traders in the Capital heard of the famous tea named after T’ieh-Kuan-Yin and the region which specialized in growing it. Soon all the farmers in Sand County became prosperous and Tieguanyin Oolong developed a national reputation. The temple was repaired and funds put aside for its upkeep.The Goddess continues to bless Sand County today as the best Tieguanyin still comes from Fujian in the Wu-Yi Mountains. Other good Tieguanyin style Oolongs are grown in Taiwan as well.

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I also hope that Alex and our daughter will aquire a taste for tea - It is has such a history is another facinating avenue to explore throughout so many different cultures. A connection to our past be it from the mountains of China, to the teahouses of England (or even a certain tea party in a New England harbor!)

Intrigued, but don’t know where to start? Here are some of our favorites…

Barry’s
This was my tea of choice while living in
Ireland. Very dark and strong. Not sure where in China it comes from, but it is my favorite.

Zhena’s Gypsy Tea
This is wonderful woman run company. Zhena’s Gypsy Tea blends have been called, “Heaven in a cup.” They use essential oils, organic fruit extracts, and fair trade and organically grown tea leaves. We work in India with tea growers and see firsthand that their theory in the fair trade fields is so right, “When the children are laughing, the tea will be good.” I particularly like Gypsy King Chai.

Twinnings Irish Breakfast
This is our everyday tea. It reminds me of Barry’s a bit but is a little lighter. David and I enjoy a cup every night.

(Big Brother)

We’ve made a point to include Alex in discussions about adoption and about our desire for a daughter. He seems to have embraced the idea of a sibling and is even enthusiastic about this sibling being a sister. He refers to our eventual new family member as his baby sister and asks all sorts of questions about her. For a five year old he has a pretty good sense of time and understands that China is not part of our country, or even our continent. He’s facinated by the Great Wall, loves Chinese mythology (especially Dragons) and knows all about Asian Animals (Animals are his passion.) One thing he doesn’t quite comprehend is why I don’t just have another baby in my belly. (He has friends who have younger siblings and know that their mommies had them in their bellies and that that is where he came from.) I tried to explain that sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn’t and in our case we are going to find a baby who needs us, and will be a part of our family even though she came from another mommy’s belly. He seems to think that is perfectly resonable and I agree with him!

The other day at Target, David and I were looking at shampoo or some other item in the health and beauty section of the store. Alex comes waddling around the corner carring the biggest box of diapers I’ve ever seen and the most adorable asian baby sitting happily on the front. He said proudly, “I think we need to get something like this for my baby sister when we get her.”  I’m sure he saw the diapers and the little girl on the box and it immediately reminded him of what his little sister might look like. David and I laughed and told him he was so right and that he should remind us when it is time for us to go pick her up. The scary thing is I know he’ll remember to do just that!

Alex starts Kindergarten in the Fall which is kind of bitter sweet for me. I’m so excited that he is going to be at the elementary school around the corner from us. He’s just getting so big, so fast. The older he gets, the more I realize that he and his little sister will never share that precious time together at home day-in-day-out that siblings who are close in age often get to experience as toddlers. By the time our daughter arrives, Alex will likely be seven.  I’m sure he’ll be wonderful to his little sister, but I worry that it will hard for him to relate to her. She will also be taking some of our attention away from him - something he has never had to deal with.

I’m sure all of us will face a big adjustment, but David and I chose this, and Alex wasn’t given a say. I guess kids never do have that luxury. Whether or not they have siblings isn’t usually up for a vote.  We’re trying to do everything we can to keep Alex connected to the process, and aware of the long wait that we will have.  I hope that by the time she arrives he will be as happy to see her as I know David and I will be.

Our Chinese Daughters Foundation, Inc. was founded in 1995 by Dr. Jane Liedtke as a non-profit Foundation with the desire to support families who have adopted children from China. A main focus of the Foundation has been bringing Chinese culture and heritage to adoptive families.

Chinese Culture Tours - programs to provide hands-on
experiential learning for children from China. Chinese Culture Camps sponsored by OCDF began in 1996 at Illinois State University and extended to China in 1999. We’ve grown from 23 persons to 650 persons in 2006.OCDF Adoption - OCDF will now facilitate and serve in the China adoption process for 10 US licensed agencies..For information: www.ocdf.org/adoption or Ross@ocdf.org

OCDF Orphan Support Projects enable families and individuals to easily donate care packages to orphans or sponsor orphans for school. In addition, special projects support unique needs of orphans across China including Coal for Kids and Building on Dreams projects.

OCDF Institute - seminars and workshops for adults and “Learn and Play” programs for children on a wide variety of topics related to China, Chinese culture, literature & music, history, and language.

Annual Grant Program - each year grant(s) are awarded by the Foundation to local/regional adoption support groups for their initiatives in support of Chinese culture/heritage programs. Grants have been awarded for 8 years.

Publications - the OCDF Newsletter is published quarterly and brings stories about adoption, real life stories and situations in China from modern news sources, Chinese culture information, and resources for adoptive families. We have two published books: New American Families: Chinese Daughters and their Single Mothers was publishedin 1996 and Finding Happiness was published in 2005. Both are collections of stories written by single mothers about the adoption of their daughter(s). A portion of the proceeds from that publication go to our scholarship fund.

OCDF Magazine - China for Children Magazine is a quarterly publication for Chinese children growing up in English speaking households. It brings art, history, culture, science and technology, music, and language through stories and activities.

OCDF Academic Connections - placement of universitystudents in internships in Beijing, China.

We’ve received our guide to compiling our Dossier from our agency, CCAI. To say that the 44 page document was informative is an understatement.  The dossier is the comprehensive document that is sent to China. It contains birth and marriage certificates, letters, statements, petitions, our lives in a nutshell.  The CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) will approve or deny us based on our dossier. If approved they will ultimately match us with our daughter based on this information. Everything must be just right, there can be no errors or omissions.

I’ve been assured that we can do this on our own, but three different Secretary of State offices to deal with and three seperate Chinese Consulates across the US, the task seems overwhelming and we didn’t know where to start, what order to do things in, or if we were going to cost oursleves precious time and money with mistakes and mis-steps.

So we have decided to seek help in compiling our dossier.  We found Pam Eidsen and her company ABC International Dossier Service Inc. We spoke at length today and I’m very impressed with her offer. She has come highly recommended from other adoptive parents who have used her services. I feel a great sense of relief that there will be someone double checking each component of our dossier and compiling it properly.

We could save a few months time and endless frustration. With wait times stretching into what may be three years, this won’t likely make too much of a difference, but we’ll take it none the less.

It has been raining a lot over the last few days. We spent a lot of time indoors, which resulted in lots of time online. I came across a fun shopping site China Sprout

According to their website:

ChinaSprout provides Chinese cultural and educational products to anyone with an interest in Chinese culture. Our products include Chinese books, Chinese music, Chinese arts & crafts, Chinese home decor, toys, Chinese clothing, such as Chinese silk dresses, Chinese pajamas, Chinese qipaos, Chinese jewelry, and much more. We support institutions, such as schools and libraries, that serve children and students learning the Chinese language as well as stores and boutiques that are interested in the Asian culture and promote Asian lifestyles.

I’m really excited about their books and arts and crafts section. I’m sure we will be loyal customers throughout our adoption journey. I already have several things on my wishlist for Alex including:

The Sons of the Dragon King

The Dragon King has sent his nine sons out to find their places in the world, but rumors abound — each son is apparently as aimless as the next! One son does nothing but stare into space, another spends his day frolicking in a stream, another plays with fire, and still another hollers and yells from noon till night. The king realizes it’s time to visit each son to see if the rumors are true. What he finds surprises him, for each son has a very special gift that continues to serve and enrich China’s culture to this very day. Two-time Caldecott winner Ed Young brings us a legend of a very special parent recognizing the potential in his very special children, and in doing so, shows how a simple folktale shaped a visible part of Chinese culture. Ages 4 - 8.

Big Bird in China (DVD)

Big Bird’s desire to find the legendary Chinese phoenix leads him and Barkley the Dog to an exciting adventure in China. Along the way they visit with Chinese schoolchildren, watch a Tai Ji demonstration, learn some Chinese words and songs, and meet the mischievous Monkey King. As Big Bird learns about China’s unique culture, he also discovers the joy of making new friends.

Well, this weekend brought us one step closer to adopting our daughter from China. There is an age requirement for prospective parents that states both parents must be at least 30 years of age. I turned 30 today, so that is one less thing to worry about. Turning 30 feels different than I thought it would. I feared that leaving my 20’s would be a little sad, but instead, I’m looking forward to what the future holds.

It is certainly exciting to be working towards adding to our family. In light of that we’re working on getting our homestudy information together and preparing our dossier. I’ve been wading through the extensive documentation provided by our agency CCAI to help us properly gather all of our dossier materials. It’s a bit overwhelming, but we’re getting there slowly but surely. We’ll be attending a conference call on Wednesday to help us make sense of everything and I’ll be going to Orlando this weekend to attend an in-person orientation. It will be nice to meet CCAI staff and other prospective adoptive parents on their adoption journey’s.

Love Without Boundaries is a worldwide group of volunteers who have realized that people with a pure love for helping children can truly make a difference. We all donate our time and resources in an attempt to brighten the lives of orphaned children in China.

David and I have decided to do what we can to help children in China while we wait. Who knows, perhaps something we do now will help our daughter. We will continue to participate as a family, we want Alex and our future daughter to know that they have a great capacity to do good in the world.

We believe Love without boundries is doing wonderful things for children in Chinese orphanages through their dedicated volunteers and sponsors. You can shop to support this organization and participate in a variety of programs such as sponsoring a child’s surgery, supporting education, and improving nutrition in China’s SWI’s. If you’d like to know how you can help visit: http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/HowToHelp.php

Raising a Barefoot Family…

I have the pleasure of working for Barefoot Books, a wonderful independent children’s publishing company, that has enriched our family in so many ways. Prior to taking this full-time position with them in 2004, I was involved in their Stallholder program.

I love my job. I am constantly amazed at the wonderful community we’re creating. It is a community that believes it is important to teach children about other cultures and traditions, challenge them with complex stories, and captivate them with art, that while certainly fit for gallery walls, is so much more accessible and appreciated by little ones in the pages of a book.

So that’s what we do; we make beautiful, unique books full of rich language, and breathtaking art and then we try to get them onto every family’s book shelf. This is not an easy task in an industry dominated by large publishing houses and massive distribution channels. However Barefoot’s strength lies in it’s attention to detail, uncompromising quality and it’s grassroots strategy of spreading the word, and connecting to like minded individuals who believe in our message.

Barefoot’s message has taken on a new relevance in our family. We’ve always tried to instill a sense of curiosity and wonder in our son, Alex, and help him explore our world. Now Barefoot Books takes on a new significance in our family’s journey, as we begin the process of adopting our daughter from China. We are so lucky that we already have, at our fingertips, exceptional books and resources to help us share with our daughter, a sense of understanding and pride in her birth country.

If you have never heard of Barefoot Books before you can explore further at www.barefootbooks.com

Some titles of particular interest to families who have adopted from China:

Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush (HC/music CD) $16.99
Sing Along with Fred Penner as you follow four children from different countries, each getting ready for school. See what the pictures tell you about different ways of life in Europe, Mali, India, and China.Comes with a music CD so you can sing along as you explore the bold art!

The Great Race: The Story of the Chinese Zodiac (HC $16.99)
Race long with Rat, Monkey, Dragon, and their companions while discovering the origin of the Chinese Zodiac. This bright and colorful book includes intriguing notes about the Chinese calendar, the festivals, and the animal that rules each year. A great book for the Chinese New Year Celebration! Discover which animal didn’t make it into the Zodiac…

We’re Riding on a Caravan: An Adventure on China’s Silk Road ($16.99)
Explore the world of stunning silk, delicious spices and exotic trade locations in this rhyming tale about a Chinese family’s journey along the Silk Road, the trade route that runs thousands of miles through Asia. The rhyming text is lovely and the notes in the back provide a map of the route and further information about the prominence of the the silk road throughout history.

Stories From the Silk Road (PB ) $12.99
The Spirit of the Silk Road is your guide as you journey through this book from Chang-an to Samarkand, following one of the arterial caravan routes of the silk traders. As you travel across treacherous deserts and through lonely mountain passes, you will learn about the importance of silk as a commodity, see some of the distinctive customs of the Central Asia people, and join in many storytelling sessions at starlit oases and campfires.

The Barefoot Book of Princesses (HC) $19.99 (PB w/CD) $14.99
This warm and humorous collection presents much-loved favorites such as “The Princess and the Pea” from Denmark and less familiar figures including “The Beggar Princess” from China and “The Horned Snake’s Wife” from the Iroquois of North America. Caitlin Matthews’s wonderfully dramatic retellings are perfect for reading aloud, while Olwyn Whelan’s bright and witty illustrations are a feast in themselves. Full of strong clever heroines, the stories in this book present a cross-cultural look at the idea of “princesses”

Happy Easter 2007!  We had lovely day. Alex woke us up gleefully, as the Easter Bunny had in fact visited our house. His basket was full of candy and fun. That bunny knows just what he likes!

Now at five years old, he still wholeheartedly believes in any benevolent holiday figure who showers him with candy and gifts, including Santa Clause, Leprechauns, Easter Bunnies, etc.  I’m a little sad wondering how many more holidays we have until this magic wears off and doubt begins to creep in. Inevitably, this will be followed by several years of humoring his mother, just to ensure that the gifts appear, with or without the strangely dressed men and overgrown animals.

It will be nice to have another little one enter the picture, I believe even for an older sibling, holidays are more magical when they are shared with someone who believes wholeheartedly in the fanciful parts of the traditions.  I’m looking forward to infusing some of the wonder and magic from her Chinese heritage into our traditions. Everyone will be richer for it and we’ll get a few more years of magic!

As for our paperchase, tomorrow we send back all of the agency service agreements and fees. Our Homestudy will then be arranged and we have numerous items to complete for that including an autobiography, floor plans of our house, not to mention some spring cleaning.  For the dossier we have almost all of the important birth and marriage documents we will initially need, and both David and I need to schedule appointments for our medical exams.  We are trying to finish everything as quickly as possible, without stressing out about it too much. In the greater scheme of things a few extra weeks or even months are not going to make a difference in a long process and hopefully in the longer course of our lives.

Holding up Half the Sky
One day an elephant saw a hummingbird lying on its
back with its tiny feet up in the air.
“What are you doing?” asked the elephant.
The hummingbird replied, “I heard that the sky might fall today,
and so I am ready to help hold it up, should it fall.”
The elephant laughed cruelly. “Do you really think,” he said,
“that those tiny feet could help hold up the sky?”
The hummingbird kept his feet up in the air,
intent on his purpose, as he replied, “Not alone.
But each must do what he can. And this is what I can do.”
— A Chinese Folktale

Half the Sky offers the love and concern of family for thousands of orphaned children in China. They provide individual nurture and stimulation for babies, innovative preschools that encourage an early love of learning, personalized learning opportunities for older children, and loving — and most important, permanent — foster homes for children whose special needs will keep them from being adopted.

Half the Sky was created in order to enrich the lives and enhance the prospects for orphaned children in China. We establish and operate infant nurture and preschool programs, provide personalized learning for older children and establish loving permanent family care and guidance for children with disabilities.  It is our goal to ensure that every orphaned child has a caring adult in her life and a chance at a bright future…helping them hold up half the sky.

This is a wonderful organization doing important work. If you want to help you can Donate or Shop and make a difference in childrens’ lives. To learn more you can visit: http://www.halfthesky.org