The Zen of Adoption

Here’s a really cool mom-run business. Denise Ervin has two daughters who were adopted from China and she has created a line of clothing called Lucky Bug Kids, that celebrates their cultural heritage with fun and style. A portion of each sale goes to various organizations that help children in need.

Denise has just introduced her Fall Line and I particularly love the pants… too cute!

Here is a cool promotional flyer for a new series of Children’s books. The first book should debut in Fall 2007 and it features Lily, an eight-year-old who explores both her Chinese heritage and her American culture. If you’d like to receive notification when these books become available, email Keri at paulkeri@sbcglobal.net.

Since making our decision to adopt from China, two things have entered my radar screen: things that are girly, and all-things asian inspired. So, I was browsing some mommy-run business sites and came upon the most fun thing to happen to bedtime in ages:The inspired designs at Kukunest.

According to their website: Teri Dimalanta and Laura Mameesh were aspiring designers, painters, and photographers in their pre-kukunest lives. Their passion for color design, and several late-night cups of coffee, gave them the inspiration and energy to start kukunest in 2006. Read more about them here.

Their Lantern Festival design immediately caught my eye, and now I’m faced with a dilema… Do I tempt fate and wait until our little one is here with us (some two years hence,) or buy these now and put them away? Decisions, Decisions…

The wonderful women and 5 minutes for Mom are offering a fun give-away: Browse through their site now and pick out your favorite design, because you may be the lucky reader who gets a set of bedding for free!

Yes, Kukunest is generously offering one of you your choice of a bedding set. So, take a look and start dreaming of your child’s new room. Then leave a comment here and let them know if you’d like to be entered.

I had early tutelege in the art of eating with chopsticks. In San Francisco, my wonderful Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Yee, snuck chopstick lessons in between the alphabet and fingerpainting and somehow I retained this skill. I’ve always been proud of my agility, but I’m a little jealous of the chopstick challenged, now that I’ve seen these!

We were browsing around the Paperchase section of Borders last night and found these and couldn’t resist - they are so fun! I might just convieniently forget how to use the regular boring chopsticks…

“Once there were two women
who never knew each other.
One you do not know.
The other you call Mother.
Two different lives
shaped to make you one.
One became your guiding star;
the other became your sun.”

So begins Motherbridge of Love, a new picture book published by Barefoot Books. With gorgeous illustrations and a touching poem that has been a mainstay in many adoption communities for years, this book is going to have a very special place on our shelves.

When we decided to add a child to our family through international adoption, we talked a lot about how we could raise our daughter to value her Chinese heritage, expose her to Chinese culture, and give her the space and the support to feel connected to her birth parents. Due to the nature of of abandonment laws in China, most children who find their way to one of China’s Social Welfare Institutions, don’t have any information about when they were born, where they are from, or who their parents are. That lack of history worries us, it is something we won’t be able to give her, no matter how much we love her - that is a hard thing for a parent to accept.

From the beginning we are going to tell our daughter what we know about her life before she was placed in our arms… it is a part of her story. Hopefully this openness will help her process the emotions and questions that are inevitable as she grows.

It’s so nice to have a book to share with a child as a starting point for conversation, exploration, and understanding… I’m thrilled that Barefoot Books has provided the book, we’ll be sure to create the opportunities to share this with our daughter.

To learn more or to order please visit: Motherbridge of Love on Barefoot’s website.

I had a surprise this weekend when I discovered that our blog The Zen of Adption had been featured by a fellow blogger on Blessed Nest, you can see her lovely post here. Thanks Donna and Heather! I really appreciate your kind words!

Her company, Blessed Nest features gorgeous nesting pillows and other handcrafted accessories. The fabrics are fun and funky, the design is smart and she even offers some organic options. If you are expecting a little one (regardless of how they are arriving!) or if you are looking for the perfect shower gift for a mom-to-be, check out Blessed Nest!

So our little girl, who will be from China, will also share our last name… Doll.

I know… she will endure a lifetime of being referred to as a “China Doll” which is actually viewed by many adoptive parents of children from China as a derogatory label. It is objected to for a lot of reasons, but mainly because it objectifies our daughters and plays into some of the most common stereotypes people have of Asian women as being little and delicate, and beautiful. None of those things are necessarily bad, but it places unrealistic expectations on young girls to be a perfect little porcelain toy. It is probably too much to hope that we’ll avoid the “China Doll” references. We definitely understand that most people will not intend to foist that sterotype onto our daughter’s shoulders when they good-naturedly point out the obvious play on our last name.

Despite all of this, I am looking forward to having actual dolls in our house. We are a liberated couple and our son Alex had a baby doll which was given to him by his Grandma, because according to her, “even little boys need baby dolls to nurture.”

I tend to agree, but Alex didn’t. If you know him, you know that he has a one track mind and it leads straight to the zoo. This baby doll, though obviously a mammal… did not have enough hair, nor did it frequent wild enough habitats. As far as Alex was concerned this baby doll could take it’s promise of a bi-pedal gait and find a kid who appreciates opposable thumbs in his playthings.

So perhaps our daughter will inherit the nameless baby doll her older brother didn’t appreciate, or maybe she’ll want a doll of her own, that looks like her. I started looking around to scout out some of our options. There are a lot of dolls out there, some have features that would be considered asian, some are well made, but very few were both.

One brand of dolls, I was keen to check out was the American Girl empire. They feature smart, brave, well-accessorized girls from various historical settings and nationalities who live through exciting times, have many adventures and get new hair-dos several times a day from their little human caretakers.

American Girl hit the scene when I was around 12… making me just a little too old for my mom to justify even pretending that I would play with one. They are beautiful dolls, created by an innovative entrepreneur, who happened to be a mom, and what made them different, was that they came with books which gave each doll a place in history, a personality, and values that today’s little girls could relate to.

Then they sold out… in a big way, moving away from the educational, wholesome, historically sound stories to more modern sassy girls with trendier clothing and wardrobes that would put a pop diva’s to shame. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not as bad as Bratz, but Mattel has a way of following the money and American Girls quickly evolved into younger, less developed Barbies.

American Girl just announced that they are finally going to offer an Asian doll and thinking that I might look past their obvious corporate mis-steps, I went to check out her details. Well, she is just a side-kick, not really a full-fledged American Girl, which would be fine, except it looks like they took one of their Caucasian dolls, tinted her skin, and gave her black hair. Nothing about her features, in any way, lets on that she is Chinese. Very disappointing.
Then I discovered a doll that gave me hope. I was browsing around and stumbled upon Karito Kids. Owned by KidsGive, A great company started by two moms in 2005. KidsGive’s Karito Kids dolls are definitely modern, but they come from various countries around the world and Ling, their Chinese doll is lovely. I read through everything I could about this company and I like what I’ve seen so far - They have partnered with a wonderful charitable organization Plan USA and 3% of every purchase goes to them to help Kids around the world.

If our daughter happens to like dolls and wants one that reflects the beauty of her own Chinese heritage, this is one that I would consider, and as a bonus it has been created by a company I’d like to support.

(Did you take notes Grandma?)

Barefoot Books Presents: Whole World

Click to view an animated version of
Barefoot’s new title: Whole World!

What kind of world will our children grow up in? Join Barefoot Books and Live Earth on 7/7/07 to celebrate the ways you can make a difference!

Check out the sights and sounds of Barefoot Book’s new title “Whole World” and click on the links to discover ways to help your family make changes that will have a positive impact on our planet!

click the image to play!

Putumayo can always be trusted to compile the most unique, engaging collections of music from around the world, regardless of the theme, and they’ve done it again with the enchanting Asian Dreamland.  We’ve been playing this non-stop in the car. Our favorite track: 4. Cradle Song by Zulya, which Alex affectionately refers to as “Ellie Bellie” (which means something in khazik, but is just funny to Alex.) To hear a bit of this catchy tune click here.

I find the selection a little heavily weighted to songs originating in Japan, but each one is beautiful and I love that they include an idea of what the songs are about.

One surprise was track 2. Dokokade Yoruga Naita by Emme, it features Japanese lyrics set to a traditional celtic tune - I recognized it in the first 15 seconds, what a cool cultural-fusion!

If you want to sing along with Alex to “Ellie Bellie” too? you can find Asian Dreamland here!

I’m surrounded with boys. No sisters, no daughters, just brothers, a husband, a son and male Chocolate Lab. Alas, there is not much pink in my life. So it is no wonder that I’m a just a tad obsessed with little girl clothing and accessories.

I discovered these booties on Little Buddah Baby and cannot believe that such cuteness exists! They remind me of my most favorite childhood pair of pajamas ever. They were from China town in San Fransico and were a dark teal silk set with long bottoms and a short sleeved top. I can remember sliding off of pretty much any surface I would sit or lay on., but I loved them.

I love these slippers too!

According to Little Buddah Baby’s site: In Asian cultures, it was once a rite of passage for little girls to receive their first pair of silk slippers. Inspired by that tradition, these baby mary jane slippers are handmade from Asian brocade in a dragonfly or butterfly pattern and are sure to be beautiful on your baby’s feet. They are available in 0 - 6 months so I’m not sure if our daughter would get much wear out of them (most children adopted from China are between 7 - 18 months old (though occassionally there are some a little younger and a lot older.) Now if only I could find these in my size!