The Zen of Adoption

We have received good news. Our dossier, which arrived in China nearly two years ago made it through review.  This is when China looks at our homestudy, health reports, income reports, references, etc. and asks questions if they have any. If the questions aren’t satisfied, it’s the end of the line. We haven’t been asked any questions, which is a good thing!

Hard to believe that our paperwork has been sitting on a shelf for two years before anyone laid eyes on it. I think back to what I was doing two years ago: Getting Alex settled in Kindergarten, just back from a big work conference getting ready for the holidays and it seems like the time has gone by in the blink of an eye.

We still have no idea when we can expect a referral… still years… but this is a little milestone in a long wait.

We just officially renewed our paperwork and everything went smoothly. Every 18 months we must reapply with the US Department of Homeland Security to keep our petition to bring an adopted child from abroad into the US current. It involves a homestudy update, another round of paperwork and mystifyingly re-fingerprinting (which of course haven’t changed in 18 months!)

We have no idea if we’ll have to do this again, but having waited 18 months already, and faced with the near certainty that we’ll wait at least another 18 more - it is likely. You really have to have a high tolerance for paperwork, bureaucrats, jargon and fees to make it through this process. We’ve been lucky there haven’t been any bumps in the road, just a lot of inconveniences. I think we realized quite a few years ago that our path to a second child was going to be anything but convenient!

So we’re good for another 18 months and are looking forward to traveling to Orlando next weekend to meet with the heads of our agency. It will be nice to meet other waiting parents and see what the latest is on this long, frustrating process. Shoud be interesting.

This lovely quote by American writer, Anne Sexton, expresses how I feel right now, a year into our ever-lengthening adoption wait.

It is strange to think that even though a year has passed, we are likely further from meeting our child than we thought it would take in it’s entirety when we started. Being told 12 - 18 months, and then watching it stretch to what may be a 4-5 year wait is hard to adjust to, but we were prepared for uncertainty when we chose this path. In the short term, we are faced with updating our paperwork, which means more visits from social workers, more notarized letters, more fingerprints (which, am I crazy, or is there little-to-no chance that these changed in the last 12 months… what are they checking for exactly?) No fun, but worth it in the long run…

There is a lot of speculation over whether things will continue to slow down or speed up, how attrition will affect the wait time, as people leave the program to add to their families in other ways, or if the writing is on the wall and China’s international adoption program is winding down. Two sites that offer a lot of opinions about what may happening are http://research-china.blogspot.com and http://www.chinaadopttalk.com but the bottom line is, no one knows for sure.

In the meantime, it has been an interesting year, full of challenges, excitement, changes, and adventures… who knows what the next twelve months will bring, it really doesn’t matter to me as long as they bring me closer to our little one.

We’ve been waiting officially for 10 months today. A blink of the eye in the greater scheme of things. When we applied with our agency in March 2007 it was estimated to be a 12 - 18 month wait until referral. When we submitted our dossier in October it looked more like an estimated 18 months - 2 year wait until referral. This of course was based on current wait times, which is only a small piece of the picture.

As of this month families who have received referrals have been waiting for 30.5 months. There is talk that our wait will possibly reach 3 - 4yrs. There is talk that this is extremely optimistic. (Some people are preparing for 5+ years.) Our agency said that China doesn’t want the wait to reach 3 years. It likely will reach and surpass 3 years, but they never said it wouldn’t reach 3 years, they just said that they didn’t want it to reach 3 years.

At this point, we have no idea how long our wait will be, there is always hope that things could speed up, and the of course the possibility that things could slow down further.  Right now, we are just trying to live life, prepare as much as we can and take things in stride.

I love the Olympics. The world on display, the competition, the the fun, the idea that for a few weeks everyone can just get along and play. I’ve particularly enjoyed seeing the 2008 Olympics in Beijing. I’ve looked forward to the local interest pieces broadcast between events, seeing these glimpses of China reminds me that we will someday go there and meet the newest member of our family.

I’ve also been very curious about how China will be viewed by the rest of the world after they open their doors and attempt to prove that they are making positive changes. Controversies still swirl regarding China’s treatment of Tibet and subsequent silencing of dissidents, the ages of some of China’s gymnasts, whether the air quality was safe, and the list goes on and on. I can’t help but think that we’re looking for what we want to find… some indication that China is still the oppressive communist country we love to lothe, or perhaps reassurance that China isn’t an emerging world power.  Opinions abound on the real impact these games will have on their image; some say not much has changed, others say everything has.

What I find so significant is that China after centuries of isolationism seems to care what the rest of the world thinks. They truly are stepping into the world spotlight and in doing so took some major risks.  I hope it pays off. China has an opportunity to foster better relations worldwide and that is a positive step politically, and more importantly a positive step for the people of China!

Alex started 1st grade today! A day late due to Hurricane Fay, but after an extra day of summer, the school year is officially underway.  Our first day of school tradition of is to head to our local diner for a hearty breakfast.

Alex, 1st day of school breakfast 2008

China is experiencing some of the worst winter weather it’s seen in nearly 50 years. Electricity and clean water are in short supply and transportation has all but ceased. Reports are rolling in from several of the Social Welfare Institutions (SWI’s) that conditions are getting worse and they are having a hard time keeping the children clean, fed, and warm.

I’ve written about Half the Sky before. They are a wonderful organization that work to bring training, supplies and medical care to their sponsored SWI’s all over China, and they are doing what they can to send aid in the form of food, clothing, heaters, and money to the areas that are hardest hit.

They have set up The Little Mouse Emergency Fund to quickly offer aid to the SWI’s that are in desperate need of assistance. If you can help, click the mouse below. Half the Sky has volunteers on the ground in China to get help to the areas that need it most.

The weather outside is frightful!

Please donate the The Little Mouse Emergency Fund.

I’ve written before about Motherbridge of Love, the new children’s book from independent publisher Bareofoot Books. I just had to share the latest news on this lovely book that explores the unique relationship between a little girl who has been adopted internationally and her mothers, both the one who gave birth to her, and the one who adopted her.

With the help of Amy Tan, acclaimed author of The Joy Luck Club, and Saving Fish from Drowning, who lent her voice to this presentation, Barefoot Books created this wonderful animated e-card that brings the art and poetry of this special book to life.

Click to Play!

Please feel free to pass this along to anyone who’s life has been touched by international adoption - there are links in the presentation to learn more about Motherbridge of Love, Barefoot Books and Chinese Culture.

Here’s a really cool mom-run business. Denise Ervin has two daughters who were adopted from China and she has created a line of clothing called Lucky Bug Kids, that celebrates their cultural heritage with fun and style. A portion of each sale goes to various organizations that help children in need.

Denise has just introduced her Fall Line and I particularly love the pants… too cute!